Here is the news you've been waiting for! This may not be what we were hoping to hear, but God's will is perfect and we are resting in Him.
We heard back from the boys' social worker, and the result, in short, is that we have been un-chosen as these kids' match. We were not able to meet the requirements of the agency in their time frame, so at this point they need to move on to consider other families.
Our reaction is perfect peace. A few years ago, we heard Derek Loux say that God is our good shepherd. We say yes to Him, and He opens and closes the doors to let us know if this is the direction He wants us to go. If we are not the family for these boys, then we trust that God has another family who will be a safe place for them to grow and learn about Him.
We are still excited about our adoption, for which we have been preparing the past few months. The good news is that our home study is now complete, and we are ready to adopt! We will take a few days to process and wrap up this situation, and then we will begin applying for other situations. We will also begin the process of applying for grants available through ABBA Fund, Show Hope, etc.
For those who have donated, we will be contacting you by email in the next day or two. We will be offering three options: 1) We will gladly return your money to you should you so desire; 2) We will make sure that your donation is sent along to help the family chosen for the three boys to adopt them; or 3) You may choose to apply the funds to our next adoption, which we are hoping will happen in the next few months. Whatever you choose, we bless and honor you for your loving sacrifice over the past two days.
Thank you for joining us on this exciting and unpredictable journey of adoption! We will be posting again soon about our new direction.
First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the donations so far. They are greatly appreciated.
Some people may be a little confused about where we are at and what is going on.
We are moving ahead to try and get these boys. Just not as quickly as some would like us to. With adoption there are many questions, and not a lot of answers. We are waiting to hear back from the placement agency on these questions.
If the fact that this placement isn't a done deal makes people uncomfortable giving we TOTALLY and COMPLETELY understand. As I mentioned last night, there are two tracks that are needing to happen simultaneously: information and fundraising. The fundraising is like Gideon's Fleece for us. And it's coming in, just not as quickly as we had hoped. We see this as God's confirmation to proceed a bit more slowly.
All that said: We are NOT giving up. We aren't backing down. We are doing this for HIS sake. These boys are HIS children. We want them to be our children too. The question is: Will He let us? We only want to do His will. No more. No less.
We will let you know further as soon as possible. Thank you again for your generosity!
(Note: If the placement with us falls through, then we will be contacting each donor individually and privately to determine what you would like us to do with your donation.)
Tonight was our date night. Conveniently scheduled by God to be tonight. We needed to get away from the noise of phones buzzing with texts and emails of donations (thank you!). This situation is not what we have been imagining. We needed to get peace and wisdom from above, the peace that passes understanding. The wisdom that laid the foundations of the earth.
So we walked to the neighborhood grocery store and bought some ice cream.
And we talked. We talked about our fears. We talked about the six children we have now. We talked about our concerns. We relayed the various phone conversations we had been having all day. With the three boys social worker. With our social worker. With our parents and advisors.
I remembered words spoken to me. Words like "life!" and "more, more" and "the abba father cry" and "fathering."
We talked about attachment issues and parental bonding. We talked about abuse and neglect and adopting children from hard places.
And then we prayed. A lot. Sitting at the table eating ice cream, the presence of Jesus was so tangible we offered him some dessert. :) He began to answer us on the walk home.
In adoption there are two things needed before you can "sign on the dotted line." One is information about the specific situation you would be signing for. This information is everything from medical records to adoption education. The other thing needed is finances.
Typically these two things happen, more or less, sequentially. You prepare a home study, including evaluations and education. You raise money. You learn about a situation. You decide to sign on the dotted line. In this case, we are having to do both simultaneously. We are having to publicly fund-raise for a situation that we are still learning about.
I want to commit to these boys with every ounce of my heart. But I need to be able to commit to them unreservedly because these boys are real people. They aren't like a car I can return to the lot if it's not working out. And this is going to be hard work. I have no illusions that fathering nine children ages 8 and under is going to be a walk in the park.
We have many, many questions that can't be answered right away. And, as well as the fundraising is going right now, we still have a ways to go. Both things need to be in place. The questions need to be answered. And the funds need to continue to flow.
If the answers to the questions bring fear instead of love, or bring doubt instead of peace, then these boys are probably not meant for us. If the funds stop coming in, then these boys are probably not meant for us.
I know I'm not supposed to say those things. I know I'm supposed to put on a brave, believing, motivational-speaker face. But that's not who I am. It's not who we are.
Do I believe these boys are a fit for our family? Yes. I've seen their pictures, and I've read a bit of their story. I do believe they are a remarkable fit. These boys fit into our family in ways that my wife and I have only discussed with each other. Can this situation still fall through? Yes, in a million little ways.
But we keep moving forward a few small steps at a time.
If you'd like to donate, you can click donate on the side bar or the button below.
Approximately 48 hours ago we learned about three little boys that need a family. And they need a family this week. The boys are ages 5, 4, and 3 years old. When we found out about these boys we prayed and talked to our children. We told them this was going to be hard. We asked them if they wanted these boys to come live with us and be their brothers. We asked every possible way for them to say "no." None of them did.
I then began communicating with the agency, letting them know that, though we have a large family, we are willing to welcome these boys into our home. I wasn't expecting much. But then the agency replied and the communication started happening and things seemed to be picking up steam. Then the question: "Do you have the $30,000 to adopt these three boys?" I gulped. I may live in California Gold Country, but I certainly don't have a gold mine in my backyard.
PS. If this match does not take place, all funds received will go toward our next adoption.
