There is a massive issue and it's all around us. It is the problem of children without parents. Here in the United States it's less visible than in other nations, but we see the need on television and in the newspaper. We wring our hands wondering what can be done, feeling overwhelmed by the scope of the problem.
The problem is beyond the scope of any single person to solve. The problem is beyond the government to solve. There is no kingdom on earth that can solve this problem. The only solution for this problem is the Kingdom of God.
God’s heart for the vulnerable God takes very, very seriously the care of orphans and widows, two vulnerable segments of the population.
Deut 24:17 - “You shall not pervert the justice due an alien or an orphan."
Psalm 146:9 - “The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked.”
James 1:27 - “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress...”
Proverbs 31:8-9 - “But you must defend those who are helpless and have no hope. Be fair and give justice to the poor and homeless.”
If a people claim His name, He makes it clear that one of the measures he uses of them is that they care for the vulnerable segments of society including the stranger, the poor, the orphan and the widow.
Isaiah 1:23, “Your rulers are rebels and companions of thieves; everyone loves a bribe and chases after rewards. They do not defend the orphan, nor does the widow’s plea come before them.”
Jeremiah 5:28, “They are fat, they are sleek, they also excel in deeds of wickedness; they do not plead the cause, the cause of the orphan, that they may prosper; and they do not defend the rights of the poor.”
Malachi 3:5, “The Lord All-Powerful said: I’m now on my way to judge you. And I will quickly condemn all who practice witchcraft or cheat in marriage or tell lies in court or rob workers of their pay or mistreat widows and orphans or steal the property of foreigners or refuse to respect me.”
Widows and orphans are not just those who have lost husbands and fathers through death. They are also those who have been abandoned by husbands and fathers. This can include neglect or lack of acknowledging paternity. Widows and orphans are among and around us. The are the single moms and the children whose fathers have left or whose parents simply cannot care for them.
Stated simply, children of absentee fathers and single moms are considered orphans and widows by God. This is because their father is to be their defender. With no man present in the house, there is no one to protect and provide for them. There is no one to fill the role of father in the house. This is why the Bible says
“
A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. (Psalm 68:5)”
We see much fatherlessness in our society. The father wound runs very deeply. Depending on how deep it goes, it can impact every facet of a child’s life. These fatherless children can become vulnerable to evil men bent on using and exploiting them. Truly nothing has changed since God spoke to Isaiah saying,
“...so as to deprive the needy of justice and rob the poor … of their rights, so that
widows may be their spoil and that they may plunder the orphans (Isaiah 10:2)”
The need The need is great. There are more than 140 million orphans world-wide. There are over 500,000 in the United States alone. 15% of those are in California alone. These vulnerable children, without a father in their life, without a family to belong to, will very frequently grow to be “plundered” by the human trafficking industry.
While I don’t want to make it seem like every child without a family will end up as a victim of trafficking, the reality is that these children are the vulnerable segment of the population that Satan loves to prey upon.
We can “starve the system” by robbing it of victims. We can rescue these children before they are even trafficked. We can rescue them before they are chewed up by a bureaucratic system and aged out of the system on their 18th birthday. We can rescue them from feeling alone and unwanted. We can rescue some of them even before they enter the foster system. We can make liars out of abortion industry when they tell their customers that they you might as well get an abortion, because no one will adopt their baby.
We can completely starve the system of victims by providing safe homes and loving arms.
The solution? The church. God has called us, the church, to care for the vulnerable, to be a light shining in the darkness. We can answer the call. Some are called to walk out the command by adopting a child. Others are called to help in other ways. Just as every family that brings a newborn baby home from the hospital needs a network of loving friends and family to assist them through the adjustments and changes that every new life brings, every family that adopts a child needs a network, a web of support to help them.
Adoption brings many new facets of life into a family. In our case, we adopted a baby African-American girl and have had to learn a lot about hair and skin care. We now have a wonderful woman added to our family, Grandma Bev. Grandma Bev has adopted us as her children and provides significant help in hair care product help and other areas. Friends are beginning to enter our lives and become uncles and aunts. The fact we have extended family members that looks like our daughter is very significant.
There are many other ways to help. There is the ministry of
Glass Slipper. There is
Safe Families for Children or
Mercy Ministries. There is financial support. Learning about the issues and being a friend available to listen and not judge when things are hard. There is a place for everyone to pitch in and help.
Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones Once people feel the tug of the Holy Spirit encouraging them to take the next step and enter the world of adoption or foster care, many questions begin to arise.
The first one that I usually encounter in talking with people is “How can you afford to adopt? Isn’t is really expensive?” There really is no simple answer to this question. The reality is that, yes, a lot of money can be involved in adoption. In our personal experience and in watching others adopt we have found that where God leads, He provides.
When you catch God's heart for something your priorities begin to realign. I used to dream about a fun, sporty car, a nice house, and a theater room with surround sound audio. Now we dream of driving to church in a 15-passenger van and have a second refrigerator in the garage for storing more milk and eggs. A big-screen TV doesn't seem as desirable as rescuing a child from a life of loneliness, neglect, and abuse. There are sources of money to help with adoption (tax credits, grants and fund raisers are common, and foster-adopt is nearly free). But the reality is that sacrifice is required.
Adoption or foster care is not easy. There are emotional risks, such as wondering about the birth parents changing their minds. There are legal risks. In the case of dear friends of ours, international law shifted such that a child they were very close to going to bring home was now made impossible.
These are real risks. And one needs to be sure of God’s calling us in the direction we are headed. We cannot simply follow the heart-tugging blindly. Rose-tinted glasses are not helpful. However, we know a family that adopted out of incredibly difficult circumstances and dealt with the issues head-on, and now has an incredibly beautiful family with daughters that have clear eyes and a solid walk with God. Another family adopted an older sibling group of three while also parenting three younger biological children and pregnant with their fourth. While their family of seven certainly has challenges to face (what family doesn't have challenges?), they are doing very well. Yet another family has adopted four children, both domestically and internationally, infant and older, while also giving birth to six (soon seven) children. None of these families would say it is easy, but they would all say it is worth it.
Frequently I talk with people, men particularly, who feel completely inadequate to parent their own children, let alone a child with a wounded heart from a broken family. I try to encourage these men that I was once there. I didn't know how to be a good father. I didn't know what loving a child really even meant or looked like. There is nothing like feeling like an inadequate parent that will drive you to your knees in prayer faster.
Step out of the boat God’s heart for all of us is that we would trust Him. He wants to be our “Plan A.” He doesn’t want us to have a backup plan. In God, there is no such thing as a “Plan B.” In fact, he has entrusted everything to us, his bride, the Church. He has called us to care for the vulnerable. He hasn’t called anyone else. He hasn’t called the government to do it. He has called us to do it. We are His Plan A. And he doesn’t have a Plan B.
He calls all of us differently. Some he calls to sacrifice it all in the jungles of Africa. Others he calls to serve diligently in Government. There are many ways that He calls us to serve Him. But He has called all of us to care for the vulnerable child in some way. He calls all of us to do is trust Him with everything. He is our good Father. He is our safe Savior. Where He calls, He will provide. He will provide the finances. He will provide the wisdom. He will provide the resilience at the end of another long, draining day.
Peter trusted Jesus with everything when he climbed out of a perfectly good boat in the middle of storm. At the sound of his name on the lips of what appeared at first to be a ghost, Peter stepped out of the boat. But instead of sinking, he trusted God with everything and he walked on water. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he didn’t sink. And when the storm overwhelmed him, Jesus picked him up.
Is God calling you to step out of the boat in the middle of the storm? Is He calling you to throw caution to the wind and join Him, walking on water into the realm of orphan care? It is on His heart. It can be on yours too. He is simply looking for your yes. He will direct your steps.
